Halloween Scare

October 27th the stork should have arrived with
the package but no, it didn't.

Patience.

The 31st they called from the hospital,
the stork would be delivering there
because supposedly the address they had given
baby-delivery service was quite obscure and hard to find.
To insure delivery and to make it simpler they decided
they would deliver baby at the hospital: no options.





Avery, who was happy as a clam
to receive baby at home
with her super "swimming pool" just for babies
had to, all of a sudden, change her plans
and go to the hospital.





The one good thing, and she'll confirm this,
is that they took her on an ambulance
and she had never ridden one before.
It was like going to the amusement park.
She even asked for pictures of this once-in-a-lifetime moment.

She actually wasn't too bothered to receive him there.
Weeuu, weeuu, weeu the ambulance took her through the commuter's traffic,
avoiding school children dressed as withches,
skirting parents in buisness suits driving on the wrong side
on the opposite lane with coffee in hand,




They arrived to Royal Berkshire Hospital in Reading,
a small city half an hour to an hour away (depending on traffic)
with little interest to tourists but
with an a solid old-time hospital constructed in 1839.






After over 12 hours in labor pain,
which only moms under no anesthetics can understand,
and after having pushed for another hour more,
they took her to the operating room because the stork
insisted on turning in her delivery
only to a one-eyed-hindu-doctor.
A doctor matching this description at this royal hospital
happened to be working there on Wednesday
and she, by the way, was an expert in vaccums
Cristina Pandemonium.




Cristina, who was about to retire because the lack of an eye
sternly gave orders to her novice apprentices.
These were operating the world-famous vacumms called "ventouse"
a French brand, and gave strict orders to Avery of helping things along.


Avery pushed with utmost strength threatened by the idea
that if she didn't do the most humanly possible effort
and pushed out baby through the main tunnel
they would have to slice the stork in two.
Avery, as a good stork-lover that she is,
and always routing for the conservation of it's species,
and not wanting a unnecessary cesarean cut
had to push from one side while from the other
she was being pulled by a "ventouse"

That was the ONLY way to get the "dude" out
of the storks stronghold: by brute force.

Nonetheless the environment was amiable and sociable with no cries.
Avery, who by then was under the influence of powerful drugs
instead of shrieking and perform and exorcism,
sang Halloween rounds of bones and ghosts
while Matt joined in as the second voice.
Simultaneously, the renewed Avery-no-pain
gave her muscles telepathic orders:
"Push even if I can't really feel",
at the same time as she strongly moved
a something to the endge of the tunnel.
A crown was coming through.
And brusquely pulled by powerful vaccums
out came a non-identifiable thing.






GREAT was the scare they experienced when they saw THIS:
a pocket size Herman Monster.
(similar to the above picture but gray color combination)
Avery and Matt immediately pointed out
that this is NOT what they had ordered.
There must have been an error, obviously so.

That which came out was gray, wrinkled and
meconium-ridden. It looked used, old and
it was certainly dirty. To make matters worst
it did NOT function properly, meaning
it did not cry (as the manual had indicated)




Matt and Avery looked into each other's eyes
- Really, this is NOT what we expected.

Apparently, naughty Felix
having arrived on Halloween
wanted to give his first-time parents
a good scare.
He put on a monster costume, make-up in gray,
cover-up in mud.
Intentionally he planned the vacumm to
square-out his head to look just like Frankenstein
and stpped out: SCARY THING!

Immediately the hospital specialists, feeling sorry
and compassionate for the distress of the parents,
began stripping him off his costume. Soon enough
they uncovered a healthy baby boy,
who was strong and vigorous and (potentially) beautiful.






The little chap immediately started making
funny magical faces to his scared parents
so they could recognize in him
the happy Felix he truly was.
And although his head remained square
they saw him beautiful like an angel
specially after placing the little cap
on his quadrangular head.
The nurse who dismissed him said that
that kind of heavy make-up that included prothesis and all
would eventually come off with time, soap and water.



After a whole day of observation
of Avery's tunnel exit and Felix's special make-up
they dismissedd both and advised them to
from that they on
they could play "mommy-and-baby" in the comfort of their own home.




So they did.